You won't know what you are really like until you test yourself.
For those that are serious about Soul creation, there comes a time when it is imperative to 'test' yourself - to verify, through concrete facts based on your own direct experience, about various facets of who you are to allow a more objective approach to further spiritual work.
A prolong period of 'self-observation', in which to gather an appropriate quantum of stored experiences under varied and different circumstances, naturally allows certain 'images' of oneself to be put into question and tested. Everyone has these images of themselves - or what others call 'personalities' - whether they are conscious of them or not.
For example, I begin to see (through self-observation) that I constantly say to myself that I am a honest and humble person, I admit my mistakes and never lie. These assertions must be tested by seeing if I am willing to put myself into situations, without causing any harm to others, where my claim to honesty and humbleness can be verified?
Talk is cheap because its easy. Doing is valuable but difficult. Being is beyond measure and almost impossible.
Perhaps an opportunity arises where I know I am wrong about something, where it is my fault that such and such occurred. Am I willing to simply admit this to the appropriate person irrespective of what I believe will be the personal, social or commercial impact on me? If not, what is it that stops me? What is the image that I have of myself that prevents such a simple act? How do I justify all this in myself?
Maybe it is the situation that requires a less than honest or humble response to protect others? If so, then my aim is to seek as many opportunities as I can to get an appropriate 'sample size' and weigh the results impartially. I need hundreds of them before I have enough material to assess myself. Am I willing to do this?
More importantly, can I be honest with myself about what I find as a pattern will inevitably be revealed? If I can be honest, am I then willing to 'work on myself' to see further into the sources of this pattern? Am I willing to seek the unknown and uncomfortable? Am I brave enough, or is it all too hard?
So many questions arise from such tests - if I can be only a little objective with myself - that may grate against my 'self-image', forcing further confrontation. Yet, without it, any semblance of spirituality stays in the realm of theory. I must be willing to take practical steps to see for myself, and unencumbered by images and fantasies - reality must bite. However, I can't be reckless - to really test oneself requires intelligence, discernment and above all, an indefatigable striving to search for the truth because, inevitably, the truth is always a hard pill to swallow.
The two most difficult phrases anyone can utter to anyone else is "I'm sorry" and "I don't know".